Ingredients:-
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
flour
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle Vodka ,
1 bottle of Rum
2 cups of dried fruit

Method:

Sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and mix with a little rum & drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large, fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK

Flavour with rum to taste.

Try another cup.... just in case turn off the mixerer.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuckin the cup of dried fruit.

Pick fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a screwscriver.

Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity - flavour with a little tum

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a shitz.

Throw a pinch of tum over your shoulder. Pick up the can, mop the floor

Check the vodka.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the dog.

Fall into bed.

CHERRY MISTMAS!!